Podcast Episode #535
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Pastors often are hurt by church members or church circumstances. Today we discuss how to deal with this hurt and why you shouldn’t just throw in the towel at the first sign of hurt.
Some highlights from today’s episode include:
- The main reason pastors get hurt in the church is from personal attacks by members.
- When you’re feeling hurt, time in the Word and in prayer can really help.
- Staff meeting exercise: everyone take a blank sheet of paper and write down all the ways they’ve seen God work in the church or in the lives of the members in the last 6-12 months.
- Outside perspective is often needed because we are too close to a situation to see a way through it.
The seven ways we discuss for dealing with hurt are:
- Give it a few days
- Pray
- Spend more time in the Word
- Focus on thanksgiving
- Get physical exercise
- Talk to peers
- Get an objective perspective
Resources mentioned in today’s podcast
Rainer on Leadership is a member of the LifeWay Leadership Podcast Network
Episode Sponsors
Today’s episode is sponsored by Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Midwestern offers more than 25 degrees at both undergraduate and masters level that are fully attainable online. From Business to Bible, Counseling to Christian education, prepare for your future at your own pace and in your own location.
Find out more at mbts.edu/online.
Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped thousands of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church.
For more information, visit WeStaffTheChurch.com.
Feedback
If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Becoming a Welcoming Church.
Hi, I downloaded the ultimate tool kit and would like to use the 50 question survey kit. Do I need to register I have only subscribe to the kit. I wanted to print it but probably locked. Not sure can you help with it or what do I need to do? Thanks Pastor Peter Fehr
Why are people who are supposed to be Christians so mean?
The worst are those who pick at the pastor’s children.
It takes a pretty sorry person to mistreat a child when he/she doesn’t have the nerve to confront the adult.
Example: In children’s choir, the leader gave out “stickers” for rewards. At the end of each quarter, the choir children could “buy” things from the “sticker store” with their stickers. These were nice things for children to have.
The leader picked out my child, one of our secretary’s children, and the son of a choir member to be mean to. They would get 1 or 2 stickers; the others would get 10-15 at each choir meeting. At the end of the quarter, they might get to buy 1 thing; the others could by 6 or 8 things.
The choir leader’s husband was a deacon. He was just as sorry as she was. He picked at everything I did, just trying to pick a fight he knew he had enough allies to win. They were like wolves – ran in a pack – no courage alone.
That kind of low-down behavior is so demoralizing to young pastors. How can people like that call themselves Christians?
There should be some kind of group in the church to keep pastors and church people from being treated like that.
Anyone had similar experiences?
I have seen this. A controlling group trying to push their will. In time God works things out for good. (Scriptural). Stay strong and make a way for the justice to be applied. ? Like heaping hot coals… Be Blessed!
Fred,
I assume you are the pastor in writing this. But either way, you could go to the choir leader and say, as a parent, I see my son is earning 1-2 stickers when everyone else is earning 10-15. Can you please clarify what behavior is causing this. Then follow up. You might even stay during a choir practice to observe. If none of that works… well then you amp it up.