Podcast Episode #480
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We asked our members at Church Answers for the wildest criticisms they had ever received. The answers did not disappoint.
Some highlights from today’s episode include:
- I still remember criticisms from 25 years ago. They stick with a pastor.
- Often times, criticisms of a pastor have less to do with what a pastor does and more to do with not doing things that a previous pastor did.
- Many lay people don’t know that their pastor is criticized like this.
The 10 goofy criticisms we discuss are:
- “You should not wear a pink shirt to the pulpit.”
- “Pastors are not allowed to use hand-held mics.”
- “You can not preach with power unless you wear a flag lapel pin.”
- “There are too many new Christians in our church.”
- “You don’t trust God since you go to board meetings.”
- “The Holy Spirit cannot use you if you plan your sermons ahead of time.”
- “You are lazy since we sang consecutive hymns from the hymnal.”
- “A pastor should not have a dog as pet.”
- “Your wife should work no more than 15 hours a week outside the home.”
- “Your wife should not be pregnant.”
Resources mentioned in today’s podcast
Episode Sponsors
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Feedback
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I got criticized that my handshake wasn’t firm enough by a middle-aged woman. She even complained to a leader about it. Now, to be honest, I am mindful of my grip when I shake most womens’ hands because I once had a lady cry out in pain saying I squeezed her hand too hard. (It wasn’t any harder than usual! ????)
Many years ago when Levi Strauss jean company endorsed alternative lifestyles I was told, “Are you wearing Levi Dockers? You should boycott them. You know they are in favor of alternative lifestyles.”
“You should not have a mustache”.
Too bad, I still have it!
Great broadcast today!
Thank you!
A man told me a few years ago: “You shouldn’t have a beard. If you’d had that beard when you came I wouldn’t have voted for you.” Then, a few weeks ago he said, “You shouldn’t wear a coat without a tie. You can wear a tie without a coat but not a coat without a tie.” This same guy was against a covered drive-in at a church conference because “It doesn’t rain on Sundays.” No sooner had he spoken those words on a Sunday night when the heavens unleashed a torrential downpour. He has also voted that “we keep our church doors closed.” Unfortunately, our deacons allow this man to run the church.
Very sad brother … Very much. That’s why the church often does not walk. We have to stop hugging the goats inside the church, they stink and drive away the sheep.
Anderson, I just laughed pretty hard at your comment. And then started to cry–because it’s so true!
Hey Thom,
Yelp, you’re right; they are diffidently goofy.
I was told by a church member not to use the word “hell” from the pulpit. It can be offensive to some people.
I have received many of this kind, of which I still remember, unfortunately.
The worst and that some were made by shepherds who consider themselves “superior” or evil members.
Unfortunately these idiocy were received as truth by those who should fight the lie, that is, the leaders.
I think the title says it all: Goofy! Some of them are not goofy, they are outright ridiculous!
As a note, I just began my first Pastorate. I imagine it’s only a matter of time before I will receive one of these “goofy” criticisms. Nice read!
when i was the associate pastor, i was standing at a urinal next to the pastor (who criticized me to no end). as we stood there…well, you know…he says “are you having trouble going? perhaps you should see a doctor”
when i was the associate pastor, the pastor (who criticized me to no end) saw me tying my shoes. he said, “is that how you tie your shoes? here, let me show you the right way.”
true story.
both stories are true. same guy. i put the 2nd one up there because i thought the first one was rejected.
Once had someone tell me that I shouldn’t have accepted a car from my parents, a gift for my doctoral graduation, because it was too expensive. It is a 2017 mustang, half the price of most of the trucks in our church.
Once was told that I was ungodly for having a Ford Mustang, which was a gift from my parents.
Not wearing a belt
Holding my Bible instead of resting it on a pulpit
Getting a haircut (one older lady made it a point to tell me she liked my hair longer)
Preaching sermons that are too Biblical
Doing too much
Expecting staff to be honest
I should be more like Charles Stanley
I really respect Charles Stanley, but he would tell all of us to be more like Jesus, not him.
#2 – Please send a copy of this to Steven Furtick and Jud Wilhite.
I’ll wait.
As a youth pastor I have been criticized because I wear flip flops in the summer, yes, even on Sunday mornings, and for wearing shorts and a hat on Wednesdays. At the same time the Sr Pastor was criticized for preaching through 1,2,3 John and told he was talking too much about love. He was also criticized because when a church member would have an issue with him, he would take them to scripture. They got mad because he always brings up scripture. I could go on, but I will stop. This was at my previous church, not where I am now.
Why do our people feel so entitled to make such comments;
would they do the same with the leadership in their workplace?
I do believe that with a smile on our face and love in our hearts,
we should often reply with, “That really isn’t your place to comment”.
A deacon I was in conflict with was encouraged by a church member to go talk to me. He replied, “I don’t want to go talk to the pastor–all he ever does is open the Bible.”
I was told recently that referring to the Bible during a theological discussion was a “cop-out.”
My all time favorite in the aspect of pure nonsense:
I was told that church members were upset that I used grumpy cat as a PowerPoint slide. Can you guess what I was preaching on? Yep, being grumpy Christians. I guess I should have used pictures of my grumpy congregation.
The most painful memory was being told by a chairman of deacons that a pastor’s wife should never speak out or be involved in the church. Her job is only to keep herself quiet and your kids. Yeah, I didn’t stay around much longer after that sexist comment.
Just a question for children and youth leaders:
Have any of you had to deal with lice in church? If so, share your story.
Mine’s happen once during VBS. That was the cleanest that church ever was after that out break.
Had a church that wanted me to remove a youth because they thought he gave their family bed-bugs. I new the exterminator and knew the source of the bed-bugs and it was him and I’m pretty sure they may have known it all along. Of course, we would never have humiliated any family over that.
This was the norm for the old core of this church.
I’ve heard when the some in the Church wanted to make me Full Time, ” What is he just getting lazy and don’t wan’t to work anymore?” I’ve also heard, “we attend another Church on Wednesday night because he says the same things over and over” (I’m preaching a series on Solomon from Proverbs on Sunday Morning and Ecclesiastes on Wednesday to show the contrasts.)
I was once told that my preaching sounded like I was “preaching to a bunch a’ girl scouts (was that a compliment?).”
The same person then told me that if I really wanted to be effective as a pastor I needed to start preaching in Genesis 1:1 and then preach verse by verse through the entire Bible. Once finished, repeat.
My husband once got passed over for a youth ministry job because we had “too many kids.” (Four, one of whom was nearing youth ministry age at that time, two of whom were not far off from it.) They said that he wouldn’t do his job well because he’d be “too busy spending time with his family.”
1. So much for “Children are a heritage from the Lord.”
2. So, this is the church’s idea of “family values” and their staff’s priorities?
3. Our whole family is always highly-involved in whatever ministry he’s doing. He’s never been “too busy” for his job because of us, and he does a pretty good job making sure he’s not “too busy” for us because of his job by integrating us.
Oh, well!
Look at it this way: God probably did your family a favor by keeping your husband out of that church!
I am a youth pastor and this past summer I did not go to summer camp due to my wife giving birth to our fourth child. I had a deacon at my church tell me I should have missed my child’s birth and gone to camp. He informed me I was paid to do youth ministry and my family will have to make sacrifices.
Every Pastor SHOULD have a dog. I actually believe it’s biblical… Proverbs 12:10
On my first Sunday as pastor, I parked in the very back of the parking lot. Was told by an elderly lady that morning that I needed to park up front on the street side of the church because they were used to seeing the previous pastor park there.
These comments are outrageous. Humor? Sure.
The more prevalent feeling, however, is sadness. Sadness that our pastors must endure such barbaric treatment. Sadness that their wives and children are viewed as mere appendages. Sadness that our membership processes are not biblical enough to weed out un-regenerate applicants for membership. Sadness that, as billions are perishing to an eternal hell, many church members are focused on minutiae and individual preferences.
May God have mercy on our churches. Pray for your pastor. Love him and his family. Feast in the Word He delivers faithfully each week.
+1,000,000,000. If your message could be broadcast to all unhealthy churches in this world and they’d take it to heart, we’d see great change and progress.
Could not agree more. Well stated.
All the criticisms, goofy, ridiculous, non-sensical, outrageous are misleading voices employed by the devil to downgrade and distract Pastors who are God’s servant.
Same kind of rice (bread or potato) feeds different kind of people.
Had someone say, one time, “Shakes too many hands.” Unbelievable. And dumb. And evidence of an unregenerate heart.
The pet remark probably refers to pastors who live in parsonages. Churches have suffered high financial loss due to a pastor’s pet’s damage in a parsonage. Plus other pastors who have to live in the parsonage may be allergic. Not for or against the comment, just heard horror stories in the town I pastor about pastors and pets and parsonages, and even strange legislative issues! No joke.
I had a couple tell me that the music was so loud they were leaving the church if we didn’t promise to turn it down (we didn’t), and on the SAME DAY I had another couple tell me that the service was great but would be better if we could turn up the music a bit.
I attended a state meeting last year where the music was so loud that I had to get up and leave. Lest anyone think I’m picking on contemporary groups, the offenders in this case were not a rock band, but a choir and orchestra (or more specifically, their sound man). Jesus made deaf people hear. I can’t understand why so many of today’s churches want to do the opposite.
#5 – On the contrary, I would say a pastor who doesn’t attend board meetings is exercising quite a bit of faith!
My preaching style is not “real” preaching. I should sit on the front pew, not the second row, during the singing. I use the Bible too much during my sermons. I should dress up more on a Lord’s Supper Sunday. The communion crackers are too dry. I need to get angry during my sermons to make them effective. My son’s hair is too long. My hair is too long. My hair is too short. I don’t keep the parsonage looking like a model house. I preach too long (if I go ten minutes past noon). I haven’t started a formal outreach program (I started one and only one man participates). Despite all this: it is a privilege to serve the people of God and many are very kind and supportive.
Each time a congregation has voted on whether or not to call me, I have received two negative votes. And, each time, within a matter of weeks, those who cast the “No” votes would inform me and explain why. In my current pastorate (12 1/2 years to date), this was one of the explanations: “I voted against you coming because you’re not our old pastor. It’s nothing personal.”
I reckon I needed to know who I wasn’t.
While interviewing at a previous church, I was asked by a member of the search committee if I would consider shaving my beard in order to be their pastor. My answer was no. I explained that I wouldn’t want to come to a church that felt a pastor or anyone else had to change their appearance to feel welcomed there. To a person, the rest of the committee apologized for the question and they ended up hiring me. The clean shaven member and I thankfully got a long very well once he saw past my beard. 🙂
Many years ago in Wyoming a team from the south came to “bring revival” to our church. First night they got a bit upset as all us women wore warm jeans, mostly with carhartts over them, since we came out in a raging blizzard and subzero weather. Leader of that team ordered us to wear dresses, heals, and hose the next night. Our dear pastor jumped up and loudly countermanded that order as he did not want anyone to freeze to death if we got stuck.
But yeah, in that town and time a pink shirt on a guy communicated an unsavory message.
To all the pastors: sorry some of us have been jerks.
And to the non pastors: wear your jeans and carhartts if you need to:)
Here is one:
A church member told me that when I pronounced the word “them” it sounded like I was saying “tham” – I needed to be careful how I pronounced words.
When I changed my hair style from parting it on the left side to a Pompadour, I was told to go back to my old hair style, that it might offend some of the church members.
I have been told by a gentleman that I used the term ‘we need to get out of our comfort zone’ too much. He wanted me to stop because it made him uncomfortable. My daughter who also works in ministry in a different part of our country, was doing a presentation for the children on patience… the pastor’s wife went over to her and told her to hurry up. All you can do is laugh.