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December 5, 2017 9 Comments

How Being Nice Can Lead to Bad Decisions – Rainer on Leadership #386

Podcast Episode #386

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Decisions have to be made in the church. Unfortunately our desire to be nice and avoid hurting someone’s feelings can often lead to either a bad decision or simply not making one that’s needed.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

  • Christian organizations should be better stewards of resources than any other organization.
  • Most people know when a change in personnel needs to be made in a local church.
  • Sometimes we are just too nice that we are unwilling to confront sin.
  • Things in the church will be so different 5-10 years from now. Many churches are not ready for this change.
  • “Being nice” is not always the best thing to do—especially when it leads to poor decisions.
  • Do you want a job or do you want to make a difference? Making a difference involves making hard choices.
  • Make the right decisions—not the most expedient ones.

The seven reasons being nice can lead to bad decisions are:

  1. We don’t make a needed personnel decision.
  2. We are unwilling to confront sin.
  3. We won’t eliminate a weak program or ministry.
  4. We are unwilling to make tough decisions on facilities.
  5. We compromise the Word of God.
  6. We let volunteers continue in positions where they should not.
  7. We make bad financial choices.

Episode Sponsors

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Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Who Moved My Pulpit?


Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast

  • Seven Ways Being Nice Hurts Your Church
  • Explore the Bible
  • The Gospel Project
  • Bible Studies for Life
  • SmallGroup.com

Related

Comments

  1. Mark says

    December 5, 2017 at 7:12 am

    Being nice though maintains one’s friendships. Some of these friendships go back 3 or 4 decades, if not a lifetime. As I learned in church, good friends of the church leaders have a enormous influence. Even when an entire generation is being pushed right out of the faith, those friendships remain strong.

    Reply
  2. John says

    December 5, 2017 at 8:14 am

    Hey Thom, In the article about not willing to make a change it says; “Sometimes we are just too nice that we are unwilling to confront sin.” Not willing to make a change is not always base on sin. Sometimes it is less spiritual: a half deaf and blind lady who can’t play the piano but the church does not want to change or a young man who can’t sing “a lick” but again the church is unwilling to find someone more trained. In these cases, making a change based on someone sinning would be easier that the present situation. Anyway, always enjoy your writings.

    John

    Reply
  3. Ian says

    December 5, 2017 at 8:45 am

    Thom, I believe you are spot on with this. Appreciate you confronting hard ministry subjects often too. I have literally worked with thousands of pastors and the issue of not making tough decisions for the greater goals/needs of a local church is rampant throughout the body of Christ. I can tell you the pastors/churches that I have seen be unafraid to make the tough decisions are the ones that see the most growth numerically and spiritually too.

    Reply
  4. Tracy Wright says

    December 5, 2017 at 8:52 am

    No one should confuse “being nice” with “treating people right.” I agree with making tough decisions. I have made tough decisions too slowly at times “being nice” and it cost me. But I believe the church has to have the reputation of “treating people right.”

    Thanks!

    Reply
  5. K says

    December 5, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Thom,
    Our church has a deacon that lets everybody including schoolbuses and big trucks turn around in the church parking lot. He not only lets them use the church parking lot but the Parsonage driveway which is all chewed up and has deep ruts.
    He has let them do this for years so doesn’t want to be a “bad neighbor”. Don’t we need to protect the church facilities?

    Reply
  6. Daniel C. Burton says

    December 5, 2017 at 11:17 am

    I think this speaks to the difference between being nice and being kind. Being nice avoids the tough decisions because they might offend someone. Being kind makes the difficult decisions but based in love. Leadership involves making the hard choices, sometimes in the face of relationships. Ministry is particular rough with this as we are in the business of building relationships.

    Thanks for the encouragement. Loved this!

    Reply
  7. Dr. Jim Bohn says

    December 5, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    The hardest thing about doing hard things in church is “it isn’t the ‘Christian thing to do’. In other words, the church has sold out to the idea that ANY emotional hardship is unkind. Not true. Paul confronted Peter face to face in front of others. By acting nice, we have weakened the church immeasurably.

    Reply
  8. Tim Lane says

    December 5, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    Great post, Tom. The challenge in non profits where being nice is a spiritual litmus test, poses challenges for a good leader. If the leader makes hard decisions and this upsets people, it could backfire and be viewed as being harsh. I have watched leaders skewered by disgruntled employees who bend the ear of the governing board which results in a leader being fired.

    Reply
  9. Ray says

    December 6, 2017 at 6:02 am

    Where and how do you start the conversation when the issue on ministry resources is CGod gave me the visions”?

    Reply

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