Podcast Episode #346
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It can be frustrating to work for a bad leader. But does that mean you have to leave immediately or attempt a coup? Not at all. Today we cover six steps to consider when you work for a bad leader.
Some highlights from today’s episode include:
- A bad leader is not the same thing as a bad person.
- A primary characteristic of the best leaders is decisiveness.
- If you work for a bad leader, follow them in the areas you can.
- You don’t always have to have positional authority to have influence.
- Good communication from a leader helps others know the reasoning behind decisions that are made.
- If you are looking for the good in your leader, you will likely find it.
- Praying for someone may not change that person, but it likely will change your heart toward them.
- You will never work for (or be) a perfect leader.
The six steps we discuss are:
- Support your leader.
- Consider that you may be wrong.
- Lead as best you can in your area.
- If the relationship allows, ask non-threatening questions.
- Seek to affirm your leader whenever it is possible and genuine.
- Leave.
Episode Sponsors
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Feedback
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It’d be great if you could develop how #6 can play out. There has to be planning involved, and probably pretty early on even as back as wrestling through #1. There are early signs that a bad leader cannot be supported. If you have a family, mortgage, and hopes for future ministry, you need to plan early to get out. I discussed this with a SBC leader last month. He directs men he mentors and interns he supervises to leave early instead of working through 2-5 slowly.
I’d highly recommend the book by Henry Cloud entitled “Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses and Relationships All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward.” It is full of wisdom for discerning whether to stay or to go in these kinds of situations. The answer is – “it all depends” – but you want to discern if you are dealing with wisdom, evil or foolishness and how to respond to each of these. I give a copy of it to all the young ministry leaders I mentor as a must read.
Yep, John, I read it during the midst of my own situation. All of the wise counsel I sought said leave. I even had one of the pastor’s “friends” tell me soon after I arrived that I needed to plan on leaving. His own friend knew he wasn’t a man he’d want to do ministry with.
Great points, Adam.
A good organization will have checks and guidelines in place on how to deal with leaders and those expected to follow. If this organization is a local church, have allowances for leaders to have sabbaticals, retreats and training seminars. We all need a breath of “fresh air” from time to time.
Thanks, Ray.
I agree. Leave early and as quickly as you can. If you work with a bad leader it will NEVER change. There are dictating, manipulating, control freak leaders who must have it their way or the highway. They will try and destroy you and your ministry and they won’t think twice about it. You can’t ask non-threatening questions because they are so insecure they are always right and if you question anything they will try and destroy you. When will we get over this notion that leaders (and let’s be honest, we’re talking mostly about pastors here) are the only one’s that are right. Yeah, they are right sometimes, but never all the time and they need to learn to listen and quit trying to destroy ministries because they are “God’s anointed.”
I would agree to leave early if the situation is deemed totally unredeemable.
Good comments, is this a POPE complex?
…and whatever you do, do not take your grievances to lay people in the church unless they are in a place of proper authority. Otherwise, you are actively undermining your leader’s authority through gossip and forfeiting your credibility as a spiritual leader.
I did that in my younger years and have always regretted it. Ungodly and leaves a trail of destruction in the lives of the laypeople you confided in.
Don’t do it.
Have a trustworthy Christian friend outside your church who knows you well and can be a sounding board to all your life questions, problems, frustrations, triumphs and joys.
Good counsel, Bob.
Remember the end of “The Caine Mutiny” ? The lawyer who gets Van Johnson off comes in and berates the crew of the ship for not doing what they could to help Humphrey Bogart be a better leader, helping relieve his burden of command. Just something to think about.
Also, while decisiveness is important in a leader, many church situations do not give the pastor carte blanche authority to make decisions decisively.
When leaders do act decisively, they’re accused of being “controlling” and “dictatorial”. Some of them just can’t win for losing.
I’d say this wasn’t far off for folks who are in the pews as well. You don’t have to be collecting a pay check at a church to wrestle through bad leadership– and sometimes take Door #6. But it’s always good to have tried the first five doors.
Most of the comments here seem to have the same level of commitment as planning the divorce as soon as you get married. Anyone who has worked for any length of time has usually worked for a bad leader. Learning to deal with a bad leader is one of the characteristics that makes you attractive to even good leaders. Running at the first sign or hint of trouble (or actively planning to do so) makes you an undesirable candidate for any future position. If the situation is truly (to use Dr. Rainer’s phrase) “totally unredeemable”, then you must leave well after having legitimately trying to make it work.
Just imagine being the leader who interviews you for a position on his team who asks why you left the previous position. If all you can do is complain about your leader and have not tried everything to make it work, why would another leader hire you? Do you really think they want to take the chance that the problem is really you and that they will be the subject of your negativity at the next interview?
How you leave a position can often overshadow how you fulfilled the responsibilities of the position. Especially since one of those responsibilities is properly interacting with your leader(s)….
Wise words.