I’ve been working with pastors and those they serve for over three decades.
That means two things: I have a lot of experience and I am old.
In the course of three decades, I have seen some pastors thrive and some pastors fail. And I have seen two common reasons for pastors failing. They lack leadership skills and they lack relational skills.
Most pastors have no formal training in either. Yet they are expected to lead and relate the first day they begin serving a church. Indeed, many pastors are expected to be bosses of full-time or part-time personnel even though they may have never led anyone.
So what is the difference between a good pastor boss and a bad pastor boss? We will address the good pastor bosses later. For now, I will share with you our conversations with those who served under bad pastor bosses. Here are the top ten complaints we heard:
- Micromanagement. “I can’t do anything without the pastor getting involved and showing me a better way, or even taking over. He drives me crazy!”
- Avoiding conflict. “We have tons of unresolved conflict in our church because our pastor won’t address the issues. He tries to please everyone, and so he pleases no one.”
- Avoiding making decisions. “Our church seems like we are stuck in molasses because the pastor just can’t make a decision. He seems to live in fear of making the wrong move.”
- Stealing credit. “My pastor can’t stand for anyone else to have a good idea. It has to be his own. So if we have a good idea, he ridicules it. But a few months later he ‘discovers’ the same idea and takes full credit for it.”
- Shifting blame. “If you listened to our pastor, you would think he is blameless. If something does go wrong, he is quick to blame someone else for the problem. Two words I’ve never heard from him are ‘I’m sorry.’”
- Hoarding information. “I don’t get it. He keeps all information close to his vest. He seems to think it gives him some kind of authority or control. We on staff really don’t know what’s going on.”
- Failing to listen. “We’ve learned not to express any opinions to the pastor. We know he is only thinking about his next sentence instead of listening to us.”
- Setting a poor example. “Our church doesn’t reach anyone for Christ. And guess who never mentions evangelism, much less does evangelism? Our pastor.”
- Having a poor work ethic. “He probably works about four hours a day, but he gets furious when he thinks we aren’t doing our job. Total slackard!”
- Not developing staff. “He doesn’t train us, work with us, develop us, or point us to good resources. In fact, he rarely spends any time with us. I can’t call him a leader because he’s not leading us.”
In my next article, I will address the ten traits of good pastor bosses. And they aren’t necessarily the opposites of the bad boss characteristics.
Pastors must be good leaders. Pastors must be good bosses.
Another one is withholding encouragement. I worked with a pastor who only believed in negative reinforcement. The pastor told me that I would never hear anything if I was doing my job right but I would I get the criticism if I didn’t meet the standard.
Although I defer to Thom Rainer’s greater experience, there are several points on his list which I do not recognise. My comments on those which I recognise include – micromanagement is as bad as abdication disguised as delegation; avoiding conflict usually exacerbates conflict; hoarding information is fatal; failing to listen weakens trust; setting a poor example does not only apply to evangelism but to other aspects of ministry; and failure to develop staff is the worst of all weaknesses. I’m not so sure I have seen failure to make decisions, stealing credit or having a poor work ethic. Blame-shifting is usually part of a blame-culture for which the pastor is not always culpable, and is usually managed by making responsibilities (for ministry or administration) crystal clear
David –
My descriptive characteristics of bad bosses are only for those who are bad bosses; they are not universal.
“…and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave…” Matthew 20. The majority of believers around the world don’t have a boss in their church. They can’t afford to hire one. And they are better off, and more obedient to the commands of Jesus. The fact that the American church is stuck in a 1000+ year old rut of rattionalizing professionalized “leadership” makes it difficult to recognize the truth when it’s right in front of them. Most of you are eager to render these words of Jesus meaningless in your “leadership” practice. The Holy Spirit will not empower anyone to be a good boss in the household of faith. I’m not trying to be rude. Just putting some scripture on the issue.
A mentor once challenged me to remember that since I am but a steward of all that I have, one of my greatest treasure troves and assets was the ability to speak encouragement. It was entirely up to me to decide to withhold it or dispense it generously. Since I have an unlimited supply, it seems rather unseemly to withhold any….
When the minister/pastor is regarded as a hireling and must do the will of the elders/deacons, then the pastor is doing what he has been told to do. People can say that the pastor doesn’t do things but he is generally complying with his bosses’ orders. They have people they must satisfy too.
And that would mean the elders and deacons are the bad bosses, not the pastor.
Right. Or can apply to both.
Confession: I have been guilty of all of these, whether I have or not. It seems that I am either perceived (by myself or others) as guilty. So the big question is how to get out of the mire of bad habits (real or perceived).
Benjamin –
When I review my direct reports, I have them review me as well. I ask them what I can do better to make their leadership more effective. I also ask two basic questions of them: What do I need to start doing? and What do I need to stop doing.
Another way pastors can be bad bosses is only having reactive meetings. In other words, they only call their staff member when something happened that the pastor didn’t like. An easy fix to this is scheduling proactive meetings. Regularly scheduled meetings (weekly, bi-weekly, etc.) can help avoid miscommunication and areas of conflict. This is always much easier said than done considering there can be FT and PT staff members in the same church body. Proactive meetings are so much more productive than reactive meetings that are almost always emotion-driven.
I totally agree with you.
An excellent way to combat these unfortunate traits is to schedule proactive meetings with staff members. Most of these traits are made manifest in reactive meetings…meetings that are scheduled because the pastor has become upset/irritated/uncomfortable with something a staff member did. Proactive meetings that are regularly scheduled (weekly, bi-weekly, etc.) improve communications and keep everyone on the same page. This can be difficult with churches that have both FT and PT staff, but it works. I’ve seen it done.
I greatly enjoyed this article! As I read these characteristics I started rephrasing the negative characteristics into positive traits. The fresh iterations of these characteristics were encouraging and affirming, so I thought I would share them with you:
Equip, Empower and Entrust leaders to lead – Make disciples…Matt. 28:19-20
Resolve Conflict – Don’t let the sun go down on your anger… Eph. 4:26
Be Decisive – “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.” Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus
Give Others Credit – Catch people doing things right
Take ownership for your mistakes – “The buck stops here” Pres. Truman
“Open the books” and share information
Ask good questions and be a good listener – “Seek first to understand and then be understood” Dr. Covey
Lead by example – do what you are asking your people to do – “…when we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off…” Lt. Hal Moore in We Were Soldiers
Do your work as if for the Lord – Colossians 3:23
Pour yourself into your staff – see #1
Not surprisingly,every one of these complaints exists in the corporate world as well. It is the very human nature of leadership. Every one of us have been guilty of at least one of these characteristics because we are all human.
When I was in management and had to deal with the issues you raise,I would try to remind myself(and others) that if leadership was easy,everyone could do it. We all know that isn’t true.
In business,and apparently in church as well,leading others isn’t very glamorous work,and certainly not for the faint of heart.
Great article Thom.
Ouch. Thank you. May I have another?
This begs the question: Should pastors be the boss?
(In the organizational and management sense)
A church full of people who have experience having a boss or being a boss, come to the pastor who has never been trained in the skills of being a boss and berate him for his lack of leadership. This really gets me riled up and breaks my heart. I’ve been bi-vocational all my ministry life and if it wasn’t for the experience in the workplace I would be an utter failure in the church. Why have I learned more about leading people from my workplace, then from the church?
There are 2 solutions that need to be implemented immediately.
1. Practical theological training. Train ministers how to use biblical principles with people. Many theological institutions have lost this completely and a 1-2 hr practicum doesn’t count.
2. Grace needs to abound. It amazes me that many people will give their boss at work the benefit of the doubt and assume positive intent, but turn right around and blame their pastor for every mistake he makes. Where are the grace and love? I know many a pastor who would take admonishment and encouragement from a member if they would take the time to talk to them in love.
I guess these statements just break my heart!
Ditto, Jonathan… like you, I’m a “career” bi-vo.
Thom’s article applies to church leaders, not just pastors. Albeit, pastors do need this admonition. As David shared above (“micromanagement is as bad as abdication disguised as delegation”), IMHO, micromanagement gets a bad rep. When newbies start, they don’t know what to do nor how to do what they don’t know what they are to do. So “micromanagement” is one means. Once the novice becomes more competent, confident and committed, then a different technique can be used… depending on the person and the situation. I see Jesus as a personification of the ethos of management excellence. Jesus used the 5 D’s of situational management: Jesus Discerned, Directed (aka “micromanaged”), Discipled, Disciplined, and Delegated (the Great Commission). When Jesus decided and called his first team, none of them knew what it meant to be “fishers of people” nor how to fish for people. Jesus had to give detailed instructions (micromanaged or what?). Then Jesus spent time to coach the team and at times “rebuked” them for their “lack of faith.” Finally, Jesus delegated the Great Commandment. As David indicated above, delegation is not abdication. Jesus promised to be with the delegates to the end of the age, and the Holy Spirit came to empower.
What a great article and discussion. Thank you. Being a pastor, really, is one of the most difficult tasks in the world.
11. Distrust. A Bad Boss of several associate pastors once required them to turn in a Daily Ministry Activity report. He wanted a record of everything related to any type of ministry they did during the day, preferably in 15-minute intervals: who they called or visited outside the church, who they saw inside the buildings, who they sent cards or letters or other communications to, who they witnessed to (and the result), a complete list of anyone invited to church (name and location, please), and of course a full report of any and all hospital or home-bound visits. Then there were to be reports of any after hours committee meetings or rehearsals or meals with members – who attended, the subjects of conversation, and a description of any decisions, suggestions, ideas, or complaints. (He also checked on his associate’s tithes and offerings records, and would mention any issue he thought he saw. It had to be kept up to date.)
Needless to say, his associate pastors felt distrusted, micromanaged, and harried by all the time compiling such a daily report required, sometimes two hours or more a day!
12. Treating ministers, and their families, as mere hirelings, rather than valued just as other members of the church. A favorite saying of his was, “They won’t change until they feel the heat,” and this Bad Boss applied it to his staff’s spouses and children, in ways he could never have gotten away with for any other church member.
I’m sure your list applies to every human being on earth as we are all sinners. However, it would be WONDERFUL if Pastors would not micromanage and allow people to do anything within the realm of their spiritual gifts, talents and abilities. It would be wonderful if they would encourage and build others up (1 Thess. 5:11). It would be awesome if they wouldn’t lie and steal someone else’s thunder for the ideas God imparted on them. It would be sweet if Pastors would love and accept others for who they are and in addition, point fingers in the correct direction (towards themselves) if they are wrong. Sadly, because Pastors are sinners too and all this will happen in a church body. This should alert those in the body of Christ to pray that much more for their Pastors to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. Yes, it breaks our hearts because they should be Shepherds that are easy to follow when they are leading but even more so those who don’t know Jesus in a personal way and are watching how the Pastors behave. Pray without ceasing church for your Pastor and his spiritual growth in Jesus Christ.
Oh! And one more thing I’d like to add….a Pastor who is a “boss”; is the church following the Bible with Deacons keeping the Pastor accountable?
I currently have a bad boss. Most of the top ten complaints listed describe him. He is immensely prideful, a huge bully, really does not like to be criticized by anyone, never thinks he does anything wrong, has never said “I’m sorry,” etc., etc., etc. He has problems with every Associate Pastor he works with, including the current one who is an authentic, Christ-follower who has done nothing wrong and just wants to see souls saved. The Pastor is jealous and insecure because this Associate Pastor is well-liked and gets more attention than him. The two pastors were recently talked to by some members of the Personnel Committee who told the two pastors to just work it out themselves, because basically the Personnel members are too afraid to make the hard decision and do the right thing to ask him to gracefully bow out of this job. So now, he has no accountability to the church and holds all the power (remember he is a bully). The DOM is one of his best buddies who doesn’t think he is a bully or anything. I need advice. How do I handle this and do the right thing without tearing the church apart? I care about this church and only want to see everyone moving the church forward, doing God’s will, and seeing people saved, but this Pastor has absolutely no accountability to anyone. Any advice will be appreciated.