Pastors and other church staff have a plethora of stories to tell about weddings they have officiated. Unfortunately, they are often constrained from telling the stories lest their church members become offended.
For that reason, I gather the stories from the pastors on social media and become their spokesperson. For the most part, these stories are repeated only with minor changes. The essence of the stories is unchanged. There were so many great submissions. I probably need a part two.
- During the vows, the bride said no.
- An 18-year old young lady came in with her fiancé to see the pastor, who was 38 years old. The pastor said lightheartedly that this wedding was the first where he could actually be the father of the bride. The 18-year-old lit up and chirped, “Cool! You knew my mom?” Her fiancé had to explain to her what the pastor meant. She cried.
- The bride and her father fought with light sabers coming down the aisle to music from Star Wars. Neither the pastor nor the groom knew what was happening.
- The uncle of the bride sent a request in since he could not attend. He asked someone to read 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; instead perfect love drives out fear.” Unfortunately, the reader quoted John 4:18 at the wedding: “For you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.”
- The air conditioning was not working well for this summer wedding in the church; so all the windows were open. As the soloist was singing with a booming operatic voice, a fly went in her mouth. The song ended.
- The bride fainted during the wedding. Four times.
- The pastor did an outdoor wedding with several people in attendance who weren’t wearing shirts (the pastor did not specify the gender of these people). The bride had a cigarette the entire service.
- Guy in the sound booth started the wrong music during a wedding. Everyone got to hear “The Lady is a Tramp.”
- A couple requested the pastor to do a beach wedding. But they first wanted to see his bare feet to make sure they would look acceptable for the wedding.
- The groom’s ex-wife stood in the back of the sanctuary yelling “not” as the pastor read 1 Corinthians 13.
- Pastor was officiating a wedding on the bay when a man comes up in a paddleboat and says, “Don’t do it.” The bride responds by yelling expletives at him.
- At another outdoor wedding, the bride and groom were joined in the front by a goat as the vows began.
- This outdoor wedding had a stray dog as a guest. He kept bringing a tennis ball to the pastor and putting it at his feet.
- A pastor was asked to officiate a wedding by talking through an animatronic deer head.
- During the wedding service, a guest’s phone loudly declares, “You have reached your destination.”
Thank you, pastors and staff, for these hilarious submissions. Come back to the blog next week when I will share stories about funerals.
In the meantime, feel free to share your wedding stories.
Do people not know this is a worship service? The wedding liturgy should be treated as if was a Sunday morning worship service not a six year old birthday party. Who’s in charge, the officiant or the wedding coordinator?
Totally agree. It is a worship event. God is there and the ceremony needs to be for His glory.
The pastor is in charge of everything concerning the wedding, especially if it is in the church.
Many who are getting married do not look at it that way at all, unfortunately. Pastors have to show some discretion as to keeping it in that context.
This is why I (and most pastors I know) would rather offiiciate at 10 funerals rather than one wedding…and don’t get me started on the mothers of the brides…
Amen! Amen! And Amen, brother!
And amen again!
I agree.
I have used, almost verbatim, that same quote many times. However, a wedding among true believers, done the right way, can be an awesome experience.
You answered your question with the latter. I turn down the “gimmicky” weddings.
True.
I know the bride who fainted 4 times. They finally set her in a metal, folding chair for the remainder of the service. And her father, the minister, concluded the service with these words, “Receive the benediction: ‘Now unto Him who is able to keep you from falling…'” The service ended prematurely with hilarious laughter.
One of my earlier weddings started later than expected. The limo with the bridal party was running late. The limo arrived and all of the bridesmaids climbed out. I looked into the limo, then asked the driver, “where is the bride?” He had forgotten the bride!
I once made the mistake at the giving of the bride, saying, “Who gives this man to be married to this woman?”
I’ve done that one! The father of the groom didn’t miss a beat. He laughed and said, I guess that would be us.”
My most memorable actually happened at the rehearsal. The groom’s parents had been divorced and both remarried, and the bride’s parents had been divorced and both re remarried…one of them twice. So there were multiple sets of step-parents and numerous living grandparents and step-grandparents present.
They ended up arguing over who got to walk in first, walk in last, leave first, etc. The maternal grandmother and most current step-grandmother literally came to blows over it, throwing punches…and expletives…in the sanctuary as everyone stood awkwardly by. I had to ask both of them to leave, and almost physically remove one of them who kept trying to attack the other. I escorted them to two different isolated locations in the facility. One of them later apologized for her behavior. The other cursed at me.
Fun times.
Fun times indeed!
The following have happened at weddings I presided over during the last 38 years:
A wedding was delayed for an hour as a seamstress finished sewing the bride’s dress in the bridal room, the organist started playing through the hymnal.
The batteries in the photographer’s camera died.
The maid of honor did not show for the wedding.
The wedding was delayed because the mothers of the bride and groom could not light the unity candles. No one had a lighter or matches. Finally a pack of matches was found in a basement kitchen.
The best man did not show for the wedding so the father of the groom stood in for him but the zipper in his tuxedo pants was broken and open.
A friend of the bride got impatient and started dismissing the wedding guests from the sanctuary before the bride and groom returned to do so.
The ring bearer untied the little sack containing the rings and they rolled out onto the floor and under the front pew.
The bride provided the food for the rehearsal dinner at the church, as I started through the line a parishioner serving the food signaled me not to take the spaghetti so I didn’t. Later she told me there were bugs in some of the pasta boxes but the bride told them to prepare them anyway because the boiling water would kill them.
The bride in lieu of an honorarium for the wedding service made me two homemade pies. They were so bad we threw them away. When she asked how they were I didn’t tell her the truth, I told her, “Pies like that don’t last long at our house.” She made me two more.
Ugh.
The one about the pies! You’re killing me! Because I have been there.
When I asked for the rings the groom’s best man, who was his father, pulled out some Grey Poupon mustard and asked, “Wouldn’t you prefer some Grey Poupon?”
At another wedding the ring bearer was a small poodle who whimpered and cried some during the wedding. The cute dog was the bride’s poodle.
I was invited to be the surprise minister at a Halloween costume party where only the bride and groom knew they were going to be married. They dressed as Rhett and Scarlet and everyone else except me had on crazy costumes. The groom said as we went up the steps to the party, “I’ll bet you never do another wedding like this.”
I did a Halloween wedding. Elvira was there, a small zombie apocalypse , and Captain Jack Sparrow. The processional was I and one guest couple were the only ones not in costume. No one had told them, and the look on their faces during the processional – introit of the toccata and fugue in D minor – was priceless.
The ring bearer was out of control during the rehearsal. He was running back and forth and, for some reason, I reached out, and jokingly grabbed him by his head and said, “Legion, come out of him.”
He didn’t move from his spot the rest of the rehearsal and wedding.
You never know . . .
I’ve seen that happen many times. These days people have flower girls and ring bearers that are barely out of diapers. Do they really expect them to stand there quietly through the whole ceremony? I never have and never will understand why people allow such small children to be in weddings.
I officiated a wedding one time where the bride and groom wrote their own vows. If a couple wants to do that, I always encourage them to actually write them out because the stress of the moment can make people’s minds go blank. The groom assured me he’d be just fine.
His exact words of love and devotion to his bride during his vows were, “Um, you’re my fishing buddy and uh, we make trips to Walmart together, and, um, I love you.”
Now I use this poor guy’s experience as an example of why you should write out your vows!
The pastor was mad about having to conduct a wedding on Saturday afternoon and it was obvious.
I contributed the first item. There is a bit more to it. It was in the 1970’s and it was obviously a shotgun wedding, as only the immediate families of the couple were there. After the bride said, “No” the couple, their parents, and the priest all trooped into the sacristy and a few minutes later they all trooped out and the bride then said, “Yes”. I have often wondered how long that wedding lasted.
At a wedding I was officiating the bride was a nervous wreck. She was shaking so visibly people in the congregation were wondering if she would make through the service. When the time came to exchange vows, I was supposed to say, “We will now exchange our vows.” Instead I said, “We will now exchange our wives.” The entire congregation burst into hilarious laughter and I turned bright red from embarrassment. But the good news was that the laughter completely calmed the bride down and she made it through the rest of the service with no problems.
After the service, one of my church members came up to me and said, “I bet our guests didn’t know we were “that kind” of church!”
Back when candles were more popular for weddings, one bride’s veil caught on fire when she leaned over to kiss her mother seated on the front pew. Thankfully an older preacher sitting several rows back jumped up and shoved the bride’s head under his arm inside his suit jacket using it to smother the flames. Wedding then proceeded as normal.
I once played trumpet for a wedding that was held outdoors, on a large dairy farm in Wisconsin. It was decorated beautifully, and was a really lovely day. Except just across the road, all through the ceremony, a very large bull was “checking out” the ladies (cows), who were all lined up along the fence line, curiously observing the proceedings. Just as the pastor concluded his final prayer and pronounced the happy couple man and wife, the bull made his selection and began to “consummate” his own relationship. As I took my breath to play the first notes of the recessional, she let out a “MOOOOOOOO” that could be heard all over the county, and I started cracking up. I was finally able to catch my breath, compose myself, and play the Purcell Trumpet Voluntary as the wedding party filed out and the cows returned to their grazing in the field. It was very memorable.
So in my 28 years as a pastor, I have never consented to officiate in an outdoor wedding anywhere near any kind of livestock. True story.
Winner.
A few for your enjoyment…
There was the ring-bearer who suddenly spoke during the ceremony, “I’m sick…” before he could finish he threw up all over the bride and groom. Still remember the smell…
I did a wedding where the best man sang a song he wrote for the wedding, “Darlin’ I’m gonna love you forever and forever is a pretty long time.”
My favorite story is of the groom who asked me, “Preacher, how much should I pay you?” My joking answer was, “Whatever you think she’s worth…” He gave me five dollars and asked for change. His bride to be was not impressed!
Our wedding was memorable gor several reasons;
The flowers weren’t delivered until 5 min before ceremony was to start—and they weren’t mine!
The two ushers who were to light the candleabras behind the altar didn’t make it to rehearsal. Thus, they missed seeing the half door into the choir loft. They both nodded to each other and climbed over the midesty rail, lit the candles and climbed back.
During the reception, as I turned to feed my husband his cake and he mine, I didn’t know my veil connected with the candles on the table. My Matron of honor came quickly saying, “Keep smiling. Your veil’s on fire.” She put it out with her appropriately worn gloves!
Funny thing: 36 years later, our daughter set fire to her veil! Can’t wait for next family wedding!
I went to a wedding where the pastor’s prayer began with, “Oh, Lord, bless this service, even though we ain’t had a rehearsal.”
I remember one wedding where the groom tried to put the ring on the bride’s right hand instead of her left. The bride kept pulling her hand back, but the groom wouldn’t take the hint. Finally the best man, who was the groom’s father, leaned over and whispered to the groom, “Other hand!” Most people wouldn’t have noticed if the preacher hadn’t gotten tickled and started snickering (I was just a kid at the time, so I wasn’t the preacher 🙂 ).
Whenever I do a wedding rehearsal I routinely tell the bride and groom, “Something very likely will go wrong during the ceremony. Don’t worry; we’ll get through it! Most likely it will be something you can laugh about it in later years.”
While decorating, the father of the bride asked if the modesty rail could be moved. I said no since it was permanently attached to the stage. I came back an hour later and he had literally ripped it off the stage.
Oh, my goodness! If I had been the pastor of that church, I’d have told them to find someplace else to have their wedding.
I went to an outdoor wedding where the ring bearer was a German Shepherd, and the rings were sewn onto a pillow that was sewn onto the dog’s collar. Before the wedding, the dog went bounding around the public park and rolling on the grass in delight at being off his leash. Of course, the rings were gone. All of the guests lined up single file across the park and slowly walked the grass, heads down, looking down for the rings, which were never found. They wound up using the rings from a couple who were close friends to the bride and groom.
My husband forgot the bride’s name when he started to present them to the congregation at the end of the service. When the same thing happened when he gave the blessing at the reception, everyone burst out laughing. Yes, he had led them through a pre-marital course and knew her name.
I can’t laugh too hard at that one. I was asked to give the blessing at my niece’s wedding reception. Even though it was a small thing, I wanted to do it right. I didn’t know the groom that well and was leery about getting his name wrong. During the prayer, I got his name right, but I called my niece by the wrong name!
At my own wedding, one of my groomsmen opened his tuxedo to find he had been given shorts instead of pants (this is just a few hours before the ceremony). I thought if he wore the shorts it would have made a very funny moment and memory. Someone who had great wisdom told me that my soon-to-be-bride would not have thought it would have been so funny. I took his advice and we were able to get him pants. I use that story in pre-marital counseling to this day.
PS – I still think it would have been funny, though. My wife, not so much.
Re: #2. Gross. :/
The first wedding I was asked to perform was to be outdoors; I did not see the venue until right before the service. It was right in front of an artificial waterfall that was so loud that for the sake of my own conscience I made the couple and their witnesses re-exchange vows after the service outside the reception hall.
At another service I performed, the bride was from another country and had arranged for relatives to play the music, and they showed up with only a synthesizer keyboard and a saxophone between them. We had Russian as a language in common, and I wanted to explain to them that only sacred music (not popular music) would be appropriate. Since they were familiar only with the Orthodox tradition, in which there is no instrumental music in church, the idea of “sacred music” failed to translate. So I settled for telling them that they should play something “classical.” They smiled and nodded enthusiastically, and then proceeded with a very good rendition of the theme from The Godfather.
At the exchange of rings, my dad, who was officiating our wedding, said to my wife ” you may now put the fing on his ringer.” As we all began to snicker at his mistake he said ” just do it!”
The cutest little flower girl waltzed down the isle, went to her spot in front of her mother placed her hands on her hips and said out loud, “Alright who farted?”
Cute.
I officiated at the “Singha Beer Hall” once when the Bride and Groom (neither of whom drank) didn’t reserve a venue until the week before and the Beer Hall was the only place available. The wedding was during Happy Hour. And people were riding a mechanical bull in the background. During the same wedding the bride’s father’s phone rang… and he took the call. Finally – same wedding, when the ceremony ended and it was time to walk out, the band was nowhere to be seen. After looking around, they were found at the bar.
I was stopped by a photographer once as the ring exchange ended. He asked if we could “do it again” as he’d missed the shot.
But the best was a wedding in the courtyard of a hotel. The evening wedding was beautiful. Except that behind the gathered congregation so that only I could see, a man entered his hotel room, turned on the lights, opened the shades and proceeded to change clothes. He had a hard time deciding what to wear and so paraded back and forth naked during the vows. Me and the wedding singer were the only ones who saw it.
As with most pastors, Brother Thom, I could write a book. Perhaps one of the most memorable was an outdoor wedding I did a few years ago. We got started late because the bride and groom’s mothers were late. We finally began the ceremony and as the bride’s father escorted her in, the guy in charge of the music played the recessional instead of the bridal march, but the bride and her father kept walking and there was nothing I could do about it. But what really unnerved me was when I noticed several friends of the groom, not groomsman, thank the Lord, were there dressed in makeup from Insane Clown Posse. Google search it and you’ll see why I was unnerved. That was a first. and hopefully the last.
I officiated at an outdoor wedding one time where my pastor’s robe attracted lady bug type insects. My back was a particularly favorite place for the critters. People kept trying to brush them off me. I finally decided that unless one flew up my nose or into my mouth, they would be harmless uninvited guests at the wedding.
One of my first weddings was a private ceremony with just a few family members present. Although I had met the couple in my office, we did not hold a rehearsal. The ceremony was going well until the exchange of rings. When I asked the bride to place the ring on the groom’s finger, they both looked awkwardly at me. I thought they weren’t sure which finger was the ring finger so I pointed to my ring finger to demonstrate. That’s when the groom held up his hand to reveal that his ring finger was missing … the result of an industrial accident!
Did a wedding several years ago where there were more people in the wedding party than the congregation. It was a full formal, 6 pm, black tie wedding with 12 attendants, 12 groomsmen, lots of others standing up front of a 600 seat church with only about 15 in the congregation.
Had a wedding during a rather stressful period of lots of funerals. Didn’t have time to review with the couple all the music. During the rehearsal said there would be a recorded song after the vows. Didn’t think to ask which song. All of a sudden there was John Michael Montgomery singing “I Swear”. Always checked the music after that.
Finally, in my early years consented to do a “helicopter” wedding. Both Bride and Groom worked for a helicopter service. However, it turned out to be a hot July day and could not get two witnesses into the Helicopter. One was to be the pilot. At that time in NC the wedding had to be performed in the county where the license was procured. But the airport was in the next county. So, we planned to exchange the vows as we crossed the river. But due to the heat couldn’t get the extra witness in the helicopter. So, they were married in the Parsonage, we took off to the airport, and landed at the reception with only the wedding party knowing the difference.
Never again.
Late ’70s with a leftover from the ’60s Flower Child bride. The wedding took place at her beach condo. The guests stood in a circle, including Daisy the dog, decked out in a bow around her neck. As we got to the exchange of rings, the bride blurted out, “OMG, Daisy just threw up on the carpet!” I never knew whether Daisy’s contribution was due to her excitement, or her commentary on her owner’s choice of a husband!
At my wedding, we had a glass of wine set out for the 7 Jewish blessings. The glass was set out early as we all prepared for the service. When it came time to do the 7 blessings, I noticed a fly was swimming in the wine. After each blessing, the groom and then the bride drink a sip passing the cup between them. I knew that my wife would throw up if she saw the fly so I sucked him down with a huge gulp at the first blessing and the wedding preceded as normal. Later she asked about why I drank so much wine when I hate the taste of alcohol. I explained about the fly and she said “thank you, now I know that there is nothing you would not do to prove your love for me.” We will celebrate 40 very happy years this September 2016.
I performed a wedding in our church during the finishing hour of the city marathon. I had told bride and groom that it was not the best of days for their wedding, neither the best location, but they insisted on day, time and location.
The wedding turned out the most memorable, as both parties got re-married for the second time and brought all children along (i think it was 10 at that time) plus grandparents. Their arrival alone was an “event”.
Next the bridge didn’t show up until 45min AFTER the agreed time to begin. She was upset because she hadn’t been able to drive up the church and not even close to it, as all streets around the church were closed for the marathon (which i had told them at the preparation and the rehersal!). She had been walking for about 10 blocks on high-heels with a humongous wedding dress which by arrival was not only dirty but also wet as it had started to rain. Upon arrival the bride was welcomed with a “la-ola”-wave by the first-aid-people that had set up their station in the church parking-lot.
Beside the fact that the whole family was not family with church-customs, neither with a liturgy or a hymnal, the oldest son insisted to sit beside the altar on the ground, playing with his cell phone (he was about 14 years old).
As we got the vows, the commentator of the marathon – just located outside of our church – continued to announce the runners reaching the finish-line with crowds cheering, – giving the whole ceremony a surreal side…
The marriage lasted a year… – then both got divorced and re-married…. Guess they hadn’t made it to the finish-line – no cheering there…
A colleague of mine had a photographer asking about a place to take pictures. She told him to find a discrete spot in the church where he would not disturb the ceremony. When she entered the church with the couple she found him in the pulpit…
It caused me to tell every couple that this was not a spot for a photographer….
I once did a wedding and I couldn’t remember the bride’s name, so I asked the groom and he told me Erica. Her name was Jessica, Erica was his ex-girlfriend. This did not go well, they were married but it was after a 30min emergency marriage counseling session.
I also did a wedding where the bride was 30 min late, the groom was 45. People were actually taking bets as to whether or not the wedding would actually take place.
More crazy things that happened during weddings I’ve officiated…
A. During an outdoor wedding, a large buck and doe walked up to the platform and posed for 90 seconds of photos. That neighborhood *never* had deer sightings. Well, until then!
B. Near the beginning of an outdoor wedding just last summer, a large flock of Canada geese flew overhead. Half of the front row on the bride’s side got splattered in green. An aunt who got the worst of it proceeded to laugh loudly the entire rest of the service. Over dinner, the bride’s grandpa confessed, “I don’t have any need for fancy white shirts. So, over the years, I wear them to the wedding and then return them to the store the next day.” Then with a hearty laugh, he told me, “Guess I won’t be able to do that this time!”
I officiated a wedding where the ring bearer flopped on his back as the vows started and lifted his legs into the air and proceeded to make fart sounds. Thankfully the grandparents got his attention and he went to them. A first for me.
My first wedding I told the groom to put “this finger on her ring”! It would not have been so bad if I had not correct myself. Then everyone knew they actually had heard correctly and then chuckled. At another wedding the groom was my nephew. I had officiated at his first wedding and now the second. Yes, I called the new bride the first wife’s name! He later had a third wedding and did not ask me to officiate.
I just performed by only daughter’s wedding a couple of weeks ago. At the end of a very emotional ceremony, when it was time for the kiss, I spoke to the groom and said, “You may now shake her hand.” He had been so intent on following my instructions, that he actually started shaking her hand! Upon hearing the uproar of laughter, he realized what I had done and asked me, “Can I?” I nodded and said, “You may now kiss your bride.”
Thom,
In completing marriage counseling with a couple, the prospective groom asked me what I charge for performing the wedding ceremony. I, tongue and cheek, stated, “You pay me what you think she is worth”. That groom came back and stated, “How about a dollar a pound?”.
That was the only time I have ever been struck speechless by a couple. The bride thought it was hilarious.
I was conducting an outdoor wedding(it was a little western at that) a dog came up during the ceremony and tried to use my leg as a fire hydrant! I called for a quick prayer and shooed (booted!) the dog away. Everyone knew exactly what happened during that prayer as the dog whimpered away.
It was one of my first weddings that I had been requested to officiate, but it was not at my church. It was an evening service, in the middle of January, in Ottawa Canada. A very cold night, near minus 30 C.
The bride and groom had insisted on candles for their decorations and the wedding director had complied – the main aisle had candles up both sides and all across the front of the church. There were approximately 300 candles installed on special holders, lining the church. The candles were lit just moments before the service was scheduled to begin.
The bride was late, of course and the candles burned down and had to be replaced and the new candles lit. The wedding director had hired a team of young men to accomplish this – and they scurried about replacing candles and lighting the new ones with hand held gas torches. As the bride tarried, as they are wont to do, the church began to heat up and was becoming uncomfortably warm. On the platform the groom and the best man were visibly sweating even more than one would normally expect at a wedding. Under my robes, I was baking. But we held our ground.
When the bride finally arrived, we felt a welcome blast of cold air as the outside doors opened and she stepped in. At that moment, all of the electrical lights in the church were turned off. The effect was quite impressive – as our eyes adjusted to the candle light, we saw the bride begin to walk up the main aisle.
The bride made it about 1/3 of the way up the aisle before she caught fire.
Her puffy veils and 700 liters of hair spray were too much for the candles, either side of her, to resist. The bright blue flash was so brilliant that it was impossible to see for a few seconds. As she ignited, several of the young men acting as candle lighting assistants grabbed hold of two very large CO2 fire extinguishers that the wedding director had wisely positioned (for such a time as this?) beside the back pew. They emptied the extinguishers from both sides directly behind the bride and managed to put her out.
The effect of the hot church, the cold carbon dioxide from the extinguishers and the fact that the lights were off all worked together to create one of the most amazing processionals to a wedding that I have ever experienced. From the platform the bride appeared to be entering through a cloud; the brief explosion of her hair and veil, looked to many in the congregation to be some special effect.
She may have faltered, but only for a second, and quickly resumed her march to the front. No one on the platform had moved – we were frozen in horror as all of this unfolded in front of us. The bride’s attendants brushed much of the fire singed veil away, and while she continued to slightly smoke from various regions of her vast bouffant hair, she did not take light again during the service.
Aside from the entrance, which most of the guests believed was an intentional part of the service, the service went flawlessly.
And from that point forward, I have insisted that candles not line the aisles and that fire extinguishers be kept discretely close at hand for all weddings.
Officiating my sons wedding, behind me, in front of the crowd, one duck flew in to show the bride and groom (Out of our sight) how to consummate the occasion. There were approx 800 people in attendance.
I once had to break up an argument between the bride and her mother (and the mother’s friend) right after the service. “Hey, how about we enjoy ourselves today and fight tomorrow?” I had to say it twice, but they settled down.
For my first wedding, I had to ride a sleigh through a complete blizzard to get to a ceremony. My nicest shoes were not designed for a foot of snow, and my hat and gloves were in my car at the bottom of the mountain. I used my leather folder with the ceremony notes to keep my legs warm.
Two weddings stand out from my over 50 years in ministry.
#1 We were living in a county-seat town of 8,000. The church building had beautiful stained glass windows and the ambience led to a number of weddings for folk in the community who were not involved in our church.
One day, a widower in his mid 20’s and a young lady who had just graduated from High School asked if they could be married in late summer. We agreed to counseling and the day of the wedding arrived.
At the rehearsal I explained how flower girls, ring bearer, bridesmaids and others were to come down the isle.
At the wedding the first bridesmaid didn’t come in when planned. She stood at the entrance until finally I had to raise my arm and motion her in. Then in slow motion the flower girls were dropping rose petals, one by one, as they seemingly crept down the isle. At one point the ring bearer threw up his hands as he turned to those assembled. Finally all were in their appointed places up front.
As the wedding continued, just prior to our planned move to the upper level of the platform, we stood while “The Wedding Song” was sung. I didn’t realize it had as many verses as it did. The bride and her bridesmaids started laughing, the groom didn’t think it funny and frowned at the bride.
All of this occurred on a very hot August day. The air conditioning wasn’t keeping up. Off to my left was the baptistery, the top of which was about a foot higher than the platform itself. As we turned to go up two steps to the upper level, out of the corner of my eye I caught something. I turned to look and one of the groomsmen, in his white tux had fainted and was falling backwards into the baptistry! Due to the fact we immerse, the guy didn’t break his neck, but the cool water awakened him. I ran over, grabbed his hand to help him out and then sent him down the stars just off the baptistry. I finally pronounced them Husband and Wife.
(By-the-way, the bride worked at the most popular restaurant in town and by Monday, I think everyone in the entire county had heard about the wedding.)
#2 We were living in Canada near the end of the Vietnam war. I was serving with a mission focused on Eastern Europe, which had it’s North American headquarters in a former church building.
One day a lady, with two men at her side, stopped by to ask if I would perform a wedding. I agreed, based on their attending pre-marital counseling.
The very first session her intended arrived with an out-of-fashion, very short hair cut. Turns out he was dodging the draft, living in a near by commune. They came to several sessions accompanied by the previously mentioned men. (I later concluded they were her bodyguards.)
When the day of the wedding arrived, the bride was in a Christian Dior gown. Her family (from the states) drove up to the church in long black limos and it was obvious they were Italian or Sicilian.
I thought it a bit weird that the ushers were wearing Black Tails, white T-shirts in Levis and gym shoes.
During the ceremony the ushers walked around the area, talking to guests and not quietly. In fact it was very disrupting and distracting. Finally, I’d had enough and stopped the wedding. I told everyone to be seated and respect the couple. When quiet finally came, we proceeded.
Following the wedding, the father of the bride gave me probably the largest honorarium I ever received. He could have played the part in one of the movies about a major crime family, at least he looked the part, if you know what I mean.
I am not a minister, but at my sister’s wedding, I was the Maid of Honor. She was marrying a man that I did not think she should marry, but I was going to support my sister. When we got down the aisle, she mouthed the words to me “Did you get the ring?” And I said “No”. I had left it in the bride’s room. I pretended to hand the ring to the minister, who pretended to hand it to my sister. She pretended to put it on her groom’s hand, but he would have no part of it. He started saying…loudly… “Where is my ring?” He thought I had done it on purpose, which I did not. When we got to the receiving line, I gave him his ring and apologized. The marriage did not last.
I was doing a beautiful outdoor wedding and as the Bride came down the aisle, in place of the anticipated Bridal March, a loud, fast, unrecognizable rock song to me, “Radioactive,” starting blaring and the groom and I, then the bride and I made eye contact. We cracked a smile and she continued to walk forward. Upon her arrival I shared with the crowd, “Folks, I can assure you that wasn’t the song Bart and Mandy had picked out for this moment.” Everyone laughed and we went forward with a sweet service.
#don’tletyourcousinrunthecdplayer
At my wedding…believe it or not…they double booked pur wedding with a funeral and had to move the funeral down the street but they had already published in the paper it would be at the church. We had to have a guy at the door asking if people were here for the wedding or the funeral..haha.
The minister at my cousin’s wedding forgot the I dos. They went from the rings straight to the signing. At first I thought they had decided to skip them for reasons I didn’t understand but later that night the bride complained about it to me and another of my cousin’s. I did a quick, “Bride, do you take Groom?” “I do.” “Groom do you take Bride?” “I do.” “There, it’s official.”
… Something tells me that wouldn’t hold up in a court of law.
Was a groomsman at a wedding outdoors at a ranch and two horses started mating LOUDLY during the ceremony.
A close friend of mine got married back in the summer of 2014 and had two flowergirls who were 12 and 13 and both girls were dressed like toddlers!They each had on identical,white,very poofy midthigh length,sleeveless dresses with a flower crown with ribbons down the back,white lace anklets and white patent leather shoes.Under their short dresses they each had a white cloth diaper with plastic pants over it with pink ruffles across the back! I couldnt believe how these two girls looked like toddlers,and when they would bend over slightly,their dresses went up some and their diaper and ruffled plastic pants could be seen! Later on i asked my friend when her flowergirls were dressed like toddlers and she told me she wanted them that way and they were fine with it.