Classic Episode
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This week, Jonathan is on vacation, and I recently returned from a speaking engagement in the Rocky Mountains. So we bring to you a classic episode of Rainer on Leadership on how to handle criticism. We will be back with new episodes next week.
Some highlights from today’s episode include:
- Criticism comes in a variety of forms, but it comes to everyone who is a leader.
- A habit of praying for critics helps you see the other side of issues better.
- The more transparent you are as a leader, the better you will be able to deal with critics.
- Criticism is typically blown out of proportion. The vast majority usually appreciate and support their leaders.
- Unfortunately we don’t always have the ability to know the perspective of a critic, so their criticism can be hard to understand.
- Every leader needs different types of confidants.
The seven tips we discuss about how to deal with criticism are:
- Don’t take most of the criticisms personally.
- Pray for the critic.
- Develop a winsome spirit.
- Be a transparent leader.
- Pray for your own attitude.
- Focus on the majority.
- Look in the mirror.
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Just one additional suggestion: consider the source. The truth is, some people are just not happy unless they’re finding fault with something. No matter what you do, they’ll find something wrong with it. If the criticism comes from such a person, then you might just need to ignore it.
Please note that I said “might”. You know the old saying: even a broken clock is right twice a day. Chronic critics are sometimes right, too. As a rule, though, you should take their criticism less seriously than you do others.
Very grateful for straightforward and heart felt counsel. I sincerely wish I had accepted this kind of direction and mentoring earlier and had learned to accept and filter appropriate criticism in church, work as well as home. It is so encouraging to see this modeled in Christ honoring ways.
Thank you, David.
A pastor of a church where I was a home group leader ask me once what I thought of his teaching of the tithe that morning. Although I was his biggest supporter both publicly (cheering his sermons) and privately ( we were friends) he was unprepared for my response.
I told him that he might benefit from a closer study of Deuteronomy if he was going to use the Old Covenant to demand a tithe. “How is it that we spend all our budget on salaries and a building that is empty 90% of the time and give less than 1% of our budget to widows, orphans and the needy in our community? The same Old Testament that demands a tenth also demands a 1/3 or more go to the needy. Where are you going to be when Jesus is judging me for my stewardship of his resource he has given me? Why would I outsource my stewardship to anyone?
We were alone. No one could here this conversation. It was the first time I had been critical of a teaching in over five years. His responses was to say, ” you know what your problem is….you are an anarchist!” There was no discussion whatsoever. The following week he held special leader’s meeting where he demanded that all homegroup leaders, worship band members, and children’s teachers (about 75 of 400 members) sign a contract that they would tithe and agree to be inspected. I stepped down quietly but ministered in the background for several more years.
Point is we should have a pastoral maturity index!
At one end of the spectrum it would read, “My Way or The Highway!”
The other end would read, “Humble, Transparent, Open, Facilitative!”
I would enjoy a blog or a book even on recognizing paternalism in pastors. Why would I benefit from a pastor’s instruction who has the maturity of say, Mark Driscoll, but puts on a humble appearance when he is with his church members?
Very thankful for sincere and heart felt recommend. I really wish I had generic this kind of direction and mentoring in advance and had learned to accept and filter suitable grievance in church, paintings in addition to domestic. it is so encouraging to see this modeled in Christ honoring ways.
also read this article: https://bit.ly/2HK766s