Podcast Episode #083
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We cover the biggest post we’ve ever had at ThomRainer.com. It was on how churches drive away guests, and more than 750,000 of you have viewed the post. In this podcast, we dive deeper into the reasons these items drive away guests and further evaluate the stand and greet time.
Also mentioned in the post is a new resource that releases Monday, December 8, on the keys to retaining guests more effectively. You can sign up to find out more about that here.
Some highlights from this week’s episode include:
- I’m consistently amazed at the lack of signage in churches. It’s like they expect people who’ve never been to their facility will know exactly where to go.
- It’s worse to have a bad church website than to not have one.
- Church facility issues may seem petty to some, but in the end, they can turn people away from hearing the gospel.
- There is a sense that the stand and greet time is a contrived exercise.
- Every pastor tells me they are the friendliest church in town.
- Church members should be thinking about others, especially guests.
- Having a stand up and greet one another time in the worship service.
- Unfriendly church members.
- Unsafe and unclean children’s area.
- No place to get information.
- Bad church website.
- Poor signage.
- Insider church language.
- Boring or bad service.
- Members telling guests that they were in their seat or pew.
- Dirty facilities.
- Many guests are introverts.
- Some guests perceive that the members are not sincere during the time of greeting.
- Many guests don’t like the lack of hygiene that takes place during this time.
- Many times the members only greet other members.
- Both members and guests at some churches perceive the entire exercise is awkward.
- In some churches, the people in the congregation are told to say something silly to one another.
- Not only do some guests dread the stand and greet time, so do some members.
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If the Pastor is prepared and teaches the Word, the rest simply does not bother me…I also appreciate a good worship service. Pat
Excellent point. Its good if a church is friendly, but that shouldn’t be a major concern … unless you’re trying to operate a church like a business in which numbers and perception becomes a focal point. The church is not a club or even an organization. The church is the body Christ. The body meets in local assemblies to build each other up primarily through the preaching and teaching of the word of God (the Bible) and through the exercising of the various spiritual gifts (see Romans 12). Believers can then go out into the world as ambassadors for Christ with the gospel message. When multi-million dollar facilities become the norm then the emphasis shifts toward getting people in because after all someone has to pay for all of this.
We are instructed to show hospitality- Romans 12:13; Hebrews 13:2; and 1 Peter 4:9. I think the spirit of the practical advice shared concerning visitors is faithfulness to these hospitality commands. I heartily “amen” that the church is not “business in which numbers and perception becomes a focal point” as you said but that doesn’t negate that we ought to think carefully and practically about showing hospitality.
Tim Challies posted an article on his blog defending the practice of stand and greet times at church services. While I do not recall all of his arguments, one argument did catch my attention. He asserted that church services are essentially for believing Christians. The apostle Paul in writing to the Corinthians on the practice of speaking in tongues talks about how unhelpful this practice may be to the non-believer who attends a gathering of believers. The non-believer will not understand what is being said and will not be edified. On the other hand, if he understands what is being said, he not only be edified, he may be convicted and accept Christ as his Savior and Lord. Paul is assuming in his teaching that both believers and non-believers would be attending church meetings. Church meetings will be an important point of contact between believers and non-believers. On this basis I do not believe that Challies’ argument is consistent with what the Scriptures say.
Great points there.
How does a church reverse or overcome a perception from the community that your church is not friendly? The church members believe they are very friendly. Have there been any studies that address this perception?
Dr. Rainer might chime in on this as well, but it boils down to being intentional about being in the community and serving the people of the community. If you’re involved in their lives and serving them and telling them about the Gospel of Jesus, that perception will change.
I don’t think it’s a big thing, but it amazes my how unimportant people who are not introverts think that introversion is. I mean I know that introversion comes in levels. I feel a bit uncomfortable and segregated during the stand up and shake hands thing but at least it doesn’t last long…
Are any of these issues EVER addressed in seminaries/Bible colleges? Reading Dr Rainer’s Autopsy book, and reading the posts on this blog, I am repeatedly struck by how ill prepared pastors are to deal with real world/daily issues in church congregations. Some of these things take a little thought and study, but many are just practical everyday concerns/mechanics. And yet they are so ignored or unrecognized in our churches, to the point sometimes of disaster. The practicalities of daily church life and of dealing with people in general do not seem to be issues that are touched on at all in pastoral education. Which is mind blowing, quite frankly….
I was thinking the other day about the way that Jamie Smith breaks down different parts of the liturgy, and what it displays about our beliefs. The thought came up that we don’t have much of a liturgical display of the reality of the community of believers within the service. I guess the call to greet each other would be it, along with the Lord’s table depending on how it is observed. That makes me wonder how concerned we should be about complaints about sincerity or exclusion because it is displaying something of the reality of the community that we are a part of.
I would also wonder if some of the pushback comes from an increasingly individualistic worldview, and how that should be engaged.
Ah yes, opinions are like belly buttons…..everybody has one! I love when any one wants to tell you what is wrong with your church, even though they know nothing about your church.
They say “survey says” and use that paint brush to paint every church everywhere.
Of course nothing could be more inaccurate and churches that rely on surveys and not the leading of Holy Spirit need to get some help.
We have testimonies at Faith about people that came and visited and felt the love from members because of a genuine greeting time. I would say if Faith’s greeting time chased anyone away then they are not at the right church. I have visited lots of churches where no one speaks to you from the time you come in till the time you leave. That is the kind of church that they would be happy in.
No having to meet people, no having to get to know people, no commitment, no having to make friends, no breaking down barriers, no getting out of your confront zone, and on and on.
I say “be different”. Love one another, show that love, get out of your comfort zone, feel what it’s like to have people care about you, do acts of kindness for people who will never repay you. Be a servant to others.
Love God with all your heart soul and mind, and love people, and show it.
I’ve never been to the perfect church.
Thank you for expressing my thoughts so accurately. We have had the same response concerning our church from those who visit with us. I have had visitors say they have no difficulty understanding why I love our church because it is the friendliest church they have ever seen.
If there are some people who are introverts and do not prefer a meet and greet time and that means that we should eliminate it, does that mean we should eliminate praise courses because some people do not like them? Should we then eliminate hymns because some people do not like them?
The podcast prompted some additional reflection on my part:
http://missionalchurchnetwork.com/rethinking-stand-greet-time-desperate-need-become-communal-people-god/
Maybe the church members are introvert and uncomfortable whether guests are introvert or not. Here are some of my thoughts on what was an excellent broadcast overall.
1. Have a Guest Information Point with a one page guide to the church’s layout, supporting signage, and order of service, particularly at services where baptism will take place or the ordinance of communion observed
2. Have a Guest Host system which will enable children of guests to be accompanied to their activities if separate from the worship service.
3. Have a Guest Host system so that at the time to acknowledge guests, the guests already have someone known to them, with some introductory detail, to be “introduction sponsor”. Only the host need stand to speak. Eg “Today I am delighted to introduce Mr and Mrs Smith, with George and Jane, visiting from Kentucky. Welcome!”
4. Ensure the Guest Host accompanies the guests to collect their children at the end of the service, and accompanies them to the refreshments area should they so choose
5. Ensure the Guest Host provides information on upcoming activities so guests leave with that information
6. Ensure the Guest Host folloows up, or the Guest Host’s name is mentioned, when guests are contacted in the future to thank them for attending.
7. Pray that the pastor will be led by God the Holy Spirit to have three aspects to his message; exposition of Scripture, explanation of topical relevance and application to Christian living. The balance of three aspects will add value to the worship experience
8. Avoid fake friendliness and over-stated “buddy” stuff. Most people do not look for or want instant buddies.