Podcast Episode #031
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Every leader faces criticism. How you respond to that criticism typically indicates how successful you will be as a leader because some criticisms are valid—and some are not. So this week on the podcast, Jonathan and I discuss when to respond to criticism, how to respond, how to be proactive in preventing criticism. In this episode we highlight a recent blog post on the seven ways leaders can develop thicker skin. Those ways are:
- Don’t take most of the criticisms personally.
- Pray for the critic.
- Develop a winsome spirit.
- Be a transparent leader.
- Pray for your own attitude.
- Focus on the majority.
- Look in the mirror.
Episode Sponsor
This week’s podcast is brought to you by Ministry Grid, a leadership training platform which just launched on 11/12/13. Ministry Grid features more than 1,500 videos, including 200 free videos, and is fully customizable to the needs of your church with the option for you to add content, create tracks for different ministries, and track the progress of participants. Ministry Grid offers training for all areas of ministry from the parking lot to the pulpit. It’s training made simple. For more information and to check out dozens of free videos or to visit the blog, go to ministrygrid.com.
Feedback
If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free autographed copy of I Am a Church Member.
One thing about being in leadership, you will face criticism from time to time, and the outcome of the criticism is how we react to the criticism and the critic. Most of us do not know how to respond to criticism, and usually respond to it the wrong way. If you plan to be a leader then expect criticism. Look at the criticism the our Lord received probably every day by the Scribes and Pharisees. Thanks for information Bro. Thom. I appreciate the work you are doing for us. God bless you.
1) How do you deal with constant internal criticism from church members (much of which appears to be very unfair/incomplete and/or unbiblical)? How do you do so in a way that upholds the truth, honors Christ, promotes your own sanctification, and the growth of others, etc? I know their is no one size fits all answer- that it is a case by case- wisdom from above answer.
2) When someone accuses you/your leadership team of something that is not true/unfair/incomplete or unbiblical- what do you do when you see them sharing that perception with others- which in turn often impacts other people/sheep to doubt their leaders, or raise similar accusations, or move to the edges of ministry, and/or simply leave the ministry often without any advanced notice?
3) How should you respond when disgruntled members define LISTEN as follows- Leadership hears my concerts/criticisms, etc AND Leadership acts on what I/we think is best/necessary. In other words, when leadership makes an unpopular decision how do you convince those who disagree that you have heard their objections but that you feel God is leading differently? Heb 13:17 If someone defines listen as you not only really hear me out but that you ALSO do/change/modify whatever it is we don’t agree with; how do you work through this without losing those members in the process?
1) Criticism is inevitable, best advice I’ve heard is criticism is like eating fish; eat the meat and spit out the bones–sort the good elements out from the bitterness. Some critics should be listened to because they may have a valid point. I always try to get the critic involved in the solution-give them something to do besides criticize and if they take ownership of a problem they are less likely to complain.
2) If someone is a gossip poisoning the herd they need to be firmly and patiently talked to. This type of behavior is not to be allowed.
3) Validate what a critic says, but also briefly share why you can or can’t do what they ask. Ask them to pray for you as a shepherd since you are held to a higher standard of accountability.
with all criticism I always pray that God would show me the root. Criticism is the plant above the surface, it has grown out of a root somewhere. Sometimes it is my heart, sometimes the root is something the individual is dealing with. And some criticism is just the product of living in a fallen world.
You might think it is criticism but the person might be trying to offer you some help and perhaps you don’t want to hear it. The person might have no ill intent whatsoever.